The 36-year-old actor and transgender campaigner - propelled to fame after playing pregnant teen Juno in Jason Reitman's 2007 black comedy - came out as a trans man years after its release in 2020, and said until the encounter at the nightspot he had been riddled with "shame" over his identity, reports 'Female First UK'.
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Elliot said in an extract from his new memoir 'Page Boy', obtained by 'People' magazine about his visit to the gay bar aged 20 with a woman named Paula: "The sound of her voice radiated warmth, a kindness. It wasn't so much that her eyes lit up but that they found you. I could feel her looking."
He further mentioned, quoted by 'Female First UK', "We went to Reflections. It was the first time I had been to a gay bar and would be my last for a long time. I was a miserable flirter. Flirting when I didn't mean to and not when I wanted to. We stood close, but not too close. The air so thick, I was swimming in it (sic)."
Elliot added the experience was "new" for him as it was "being in a queer space and being present, enjoying it."
He said: "Shame had been drilled into my bones since I was my tiniest self, and I struggled to rid my body of that old toxic and erosive marrow. But there was joy in the room, it lifted me, forced a reaction in the jaw, an uncontrolled, steady smile."
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Elliot said when he asked Paula for a kiss he was "jolted by my boldness", adding: "And then I did. In a queer bar. In front of everyone around us... everything was cold before, motionless, emotionless. Any woman I had loved hadn't loved me back, and the one who maybe had, loved me the wrong way. But here I was, on a dance floor with a woman who wanted to kiss me and the antagonising, cruel voice that flooded my head whenever I felt desire was silent."
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